中字：豆瓣@MacY
FROM THE LIFE OF THE MARIONETTES 傀儡生涯（英格玛·伯格曼）
PROLOGUE 序言
I'm tired. 我累了
Now you shall sleep. 你该睡觉了
No! 不
Asshole! 混蛋
Twenty hours after the murder, 谋杀发生二十小时后
Mogens Jensen, professor of psychiatry, talks to the chief examiner. 精神病学教授莫根斯·延森与调查长官谈话
I think it was 5:00 a.m. or just after 5:00. 我想是早上五点，或刚过五点
I'd just gotten up and gone into the hall to pick up the newspaper — 我刚起床，去门厅里拿报纸
I'm an early riser — when the phone rang. 我起得很早——这时电话响了
I remember being annoyed 我记得我挺生气的
because I'd forgotten to turn it off for the night. 因为我忘了晚上把它关掉
You know, otherwise patients will call me day and night. 不然病人会没日没夜地给我打电话
I ignored the phone at first, but then I answered 我刚开始无视了来电，但随后还是接了
because I didn't want it to wake up my wife 因为我不想让妻子被吵醒
who sleeps in a nearby room. 她在隔壁房间睡觉
It was Peter Egermann calling. 是彼得·伊格曼来电
He was completely calm 他非常平静
and his voice was stable. 声音沉稳
He asked me to go to a certain address. 叫我去一个地址
He wanted me to enter through the front door, cross the backyard 他让我从前门进去，穿过后院
and look for a metal door to the left of the staircase. 在梯子左边找到一个金属门
He said he had found a key and would open it for me. 他说他找到了钥匙，会帮我开门
I was there in 20 minutes — 我二十分钟后到的
it was half past 5:00 or a few minutes later — 时间是五点半或者过一点
I opened the door 我打开门
and went down the stairs to the basement. 下楼梯走到地下室
All the rooms were brightly lit 所有房间都灯火通明
and a tape recorder was making a terrible amount of noise. 录音机发出巨大的噪音
In the stage room, there was a girl lying on a table, on her belly. 在舞台间，有个女孩头朝下躺在桌子上
She was covered with a big brocade blanket, 盖着一张大锦缎毯子
her legs were spread wide apart 双腿大大分开
and her face was bloody, swollen and stained. 她的脸上布满血迹，又肿又脏
For any further details, I refer you to the autopsy report. 细节你还是看验尸报告吧
Peter Egermann told me he had murdered the girl 彼得·伊格曼告诉我他杀了那个女孩
and afterwards had anal intercourse with her. 然后又和她肛交
To be honest, I'm deeply shocked. 说实话，我完全惊呆了
I've known Peter Egermann for 20 years. 我认识彼得·伊格曼有二十年了
He's an amiable, highly talented, conscientious man. 他是个亲切、天才又认真的人
Everyone likes him, as far as I know. 就我所知所有人都喜欢他
He's happily married to a capable career woman. 他的妻子是个能干的职场女性，婚姻幸福
He has a large circle of friends, 他有许多朋友
a comfortable, undemanding life, a charming mother. 有舒适的、轻松的生活，有个讨人喜欢的母亲
Cordelia Egermann, the actress? 那个演员科迪莉亚·伊格曼？
His father died some time ago. 他的父亲前不久去世了
The family is well-off. 家庭很富有
Peter's brother is ambassador to Vienna. 彼得的哥哥是驻维也纳的大使
His sister is married to a renowned business man. 他的姐姐嫁给了一个有名的商人
No genetic predisposition to depression or other disorders? 有抑郁症或其他问题的遗传倾向吗？
As far as I know, none. 据我所知没有
Have Peter and Katarina ever consulted you over any complaints? 彼得和卡塔丽娜在做咨询时跟你抱怨过什么吗？
Nothing a little Valium or Mogadon wouldn't cure. 没有安定和硝基安定(镇静剂)解决不了的问题
Fourteen days before the disaster, 惨剧前十四天
Peter Egermann visits Professor Mogens Jensen in his office. 彼得·伊格曼到访莫根斯·延森教授的办公室
Lately, there's been a little too much staying up late and drinking. 最近我睡得有点晚，喝酒有点多
Apart from that, it's clear that... 除此之外，显然……
the days go by. 没什么事发生
So. 就是这样
But now I'll tell you directly what's on my mind. 但现在我要跟你直说是什么占据了我的大脑
Everyone has something that troubles them, don't you think? 每个人都有麻烦事，不是吗？
My troubles are quite specific. 我的烦恼很特别
That's why I've come to you. 所以我会来找你
You think I'm talking too much. 你觉得我废话太多了
You're right. 没错
Maybe I'm hesitating to tell you what's troubling me. 也许我就是在犹豫要不要跟你说
As long as I don't say the words, my troubles are like a dream: unreal. 只要我不说出来，我的烦恼就会像梦一样，是虚幻的
Once I say the words, 而一旦我说了出来
my troubles will manifest. 它就会变得清晰可见
It frightens me that I want to kill. 我想杀人，这让我害怕
It frightens me that I want to kill a person. 我想杀死一个人，这让我害怕
It frightens me. 这让我害怕
I want to kill my wife. 我想杀死我的妻子
I want to kill her. 我想杀死她
For two years, I've lived with the idea that I'll kill Katarina. 我想杀死卡塔丽娜的念头持续两年了
Katarina has cheated on me and I've cheated on her. 卡塔丽娜背叛过我，我也背叛过她
But that has nothing to do with it. 但问题不出在这儿
In bed, it's fabulous. 在床上，我们感觉非常好
In fact, it's fantastic. 事实上，简直好极了
We both love — how can I say — without any feeling. 我们——我该怎么说——无感受地爱着
I mean, without thinking about how we feel for each other. 我是指，我们不去想对彼此的感受
I'm not used to describing emotional complications. 我不太习惯于描述情感上的东西
I probably don't need to tell you this, I think you understand. 我应该也不用跟你说这些，你明白的
We each love the pleasure. 我们都爱那种愉悦
Or we each love to give the other pleasure, I don't know. 或者说我们都爱给对方愉悦，我说不清
It was always best when both of us were cheating on each other. 我们互相背叛的时候就是最好的时候
I use the word "cheating," but it's wrong. 我用了“背叛”这个词，但并不准确
The word has negative moral connotations and we never — 这个词有消极的道德意味，但我们并非——
"Mutual sexual freedom," you could probably call it. “彼此性爱自由”，你可以这么说
Well. 好吧
I'm talking. 我说了这么多
Now you see how helpless I am. 现在你知道我有多无助了
Psychiatrists are usually interested in dreams. My dreams are mundane. 精神病医生总对梦感兴趣，但我的梦很普通
Meaningless, dull. 没有意义、沉闷
I want you to tell me that my fantasies of Katarina's death 我想跟你说，我对卡塔丽娜死亡的幻想
are a matter of hormones. 是激素的问题
Maybe I want you to hypnotize me. 我想让你给我催个眠
That would be a solution. 那可能会有用
- You aren't saying anything. - Why did you come here? -你一句话都没说 -你为什么来这儿
You don't believe in your own pains. 你不相信你自己的痛苦
Peter, my friend, people of your sort don't believe in the soul's existence 彼得，我的朋友，你这种人不相信灵魂的存在
that's why I don't understand your visit. 所以我不明白你为什么过来
- Are you angry? - Of course I'm angry. -你生气了？ -我当然生气了
Because you don't respect your own fears. 因为你不尊重你自己的恐惧
Maybe you want to prescribe me something, just in case. 你给我开点药吧，以防万一
Go for a long walk. 去散散步吧
That's an excellent cure for minor depressions and gloomy thoughts. 那是治疗轻度抑郁和阴暗想法的良药
Then you'll have a strong cup of coffee, a few cognacs 再喝杯浓咖啡，喝点干邑白兰地
and you'll feel like a new man. 你就会觉得焕然一新了
Thank you, Mogens. You really helped me. Good-bye. 谢谢你，莫根斯，你真是帮到我了，再见
I don't want to. 我不想……
Sit down. 坐下
I think I made a real effort. 我觉得我很努力了
How often do you say that you hate someone 你多久会说一次厌恶某人
or that you wish that another was dead? 或者说你们希望对方去死？
How often do you beat, 你们多久会打一次架
humiliate, challenge, threaten? 彼此羞辱、怀疑、威胁？
You spit in each other's face, hold down each other's arms 你们吐在对方的脸上、抓住对方的胳膊
struggle, scream. 挣扎、尖叫
There's a little blood. 血流了出来
One is triumphant, the other is defeated 一方获胜了，另一方被击败了
and stands at the bathroom door and asks to be forgiven. 站在浴室门前祈求原谅
- That's absolutely harmless, isn't it? - Terribly harmless. -这没什么大不了的，对吗？ -完全没什么
Everything is like a performance. 一切都像是在表演
With repeated responses, pauses, outbursts 伴着一再重复的回应、停歇和爆发
the exits are prepared in advance, 退场通道已经提前准备好了
but the lack of an audience is mortifying. 但让人难堪的是没有一个观众
But usually, there's a remedy for that. 不过，通常是有解决办法的
- All that — - All that is nothing. -所有这些…… -所有这些都不算什么
Though a well-known part of living with someone. 不过是与别人一起生活要经受的一部分罢了
I think — 我想——
No, that's not true. 不，不是那样
It's not true? 不是怎样？
Isn't there some idiotic notion that many poor lunatics 会不会有些可怜的疯子，抱着那样愚蠢的观念
actually love their fights and their mutual humiliations? 实际上热爱彼此的争吵、彼此的羞辱
That it's a particularly exceptional form of contact? 把那当成一种特殊的接触的形式？
I get a punch in the nose — "Hooray, we're touching." 我鼻子被打了一拳——“太棒了，我们在接触”
Divorce, and all that... 离婚之类的……
How do you kill her? 你要怎么杀她？
The apartment is completely quiet 公寓里非常安静
and flooded by sunlight. 充满阳光
For days, we've been on our own, 我们与世隔绝好几天
maybe longer. 也许更长
We haven't quarreled. 我们没有吵架
Everything is silent. 一切都很平静
Maybe it's early in the morning. The streets are empty. 也许是在一大早，街上空荡荡的
I have a feeling of peace. 我感受到宁静
Everything is far away. 一切都远离了
Work, everyday life, voices, appointments. 工作、日常生活、声音、约会
No anxiety nor fear. 没有焦虑或恐惧
I can see her moving in the bathroom... 我能看见她在浴室里移动
flooded by radiant, almost unreal sunlight. 浴室里充满耀眼的、几乎难以想象的阳光
She's combing her hair. 她在梳头发
I've always loved watching my wife. 我一直喜欢看我的妻子
Even when we hated each other. 即便在我们厌恶对方
Or when she was repugnant, ill or drunk or mean. 或者在她惹人讨厌、生病、喝醉或刻薄的时候
I've always enjoyed her movements. 我一直喜欢看她的动作
Her scent. Her presence. 她的味道、她的存在
She turns to the big mirror. 她转身照镜子
She sees me in the mirror. 她在镜子里看见我
She is deep in thought 她在沉思
but breathing heavily. 呼吸很重
I'm standing behind her, diagonally behind her 我站在她斜后方
holding the open straight razor in my right hand. 右手拿着剃须刀片
The entire time, she's looking at me. 整个过程中她都在“看”我
And now she really sees me. 现在，她终于“看见”我了
Her lips make an almost invisible smile. 她的嘴唇上浮现出几乎难以察觉的微笑
I feel her soft touch. 我感觉到她轻柔的触碰
A small pulse is throbbing in her throat. 她的喉咙在轻微地跳动
Are you aware that the human body contains an amazing amount of blood? 你知道人体内有极多的血吗？
If you cut the carotid, the blood splashes against the walls 如果你割到颈动脉，血会溅到墙上
and you'll be covered in blood. 你身上也会沾满血
It smells and it's sticky. 又腥又黏
Besides, your victim won't die at once. 另外，你的受害者也不会立即死去
It takes several minutes to become unconscious. 还要过几分钟才会丧失意识
Probably, both of you will have plenty of time to think. 也许你们两个都还有大把时间去回想
Maybe you will regret it. 而你会觉得后悔
It isn't at all what you'd expected. 这并不是像你以为的那样
It isn't an incredible, otherworldly experience 并不是一个难以置信的、超脱的经历
except for the fact that Katarina is lying on the bath mat 唯一真实的只有卡塔丽娜躺在浴室的垫子上
with a big wound in her throat, spilling blood. 脖子上巨大的伤口往外涌着血
- You're being ironic, aren't you? - No. -你在讽刺我？ -我可没有
If you want, I can have you admitted to my hospital. 你想的话，可以到我的医院里住院
There, we'll give you plenty of injections, 在那儿你会被注射很多药物
until you don't give a damn whether you're Peter Egermann 直到你再也不在乎你是彼得·伊格曼
or the emperor of China. 还是中国的皇帝
Don't worry, we're phenomenally good at wiping out identities. 别担心，我们非常擅长清除身份
No self, no fear. 没有自我，就没有恐惧
Fantastic, isn't it? 多好啊，不是吗？
I read somewhere that modern mental care was charmingly tough. 我曾读到过现代精神保健非常粗暴
I told you I'm taking you seriously. 我说了我是认真的
I'm taking up your time. 我在占用你的时间吧
A little. To tell the truth, I'm expecting somebody. 有一点，说实话，我在等人
Then I won't keep you any longer. 那我不再打扰你了
But when you come back next Thursday at 4:00 但你可以下周四四点再过来
we can talk for a few hours. 我们可以聊几个小时
There will be no patient waiting for me. 那时我没有患者预约
- You're kind. - Yes, aren't I? -你很善良 -当然
- Should I tell Katarina — - Good-bye, Peter Egermann. -我该不该跟卡塔丽娜说…… -再见，彼得·伊格曼
Take care. 保重
Bye, Mogens. 再见，莫根斯
And have a good time. 祝你愉快
What do you mean? 什么意思？
Your visitor. 和你的来访者
You'll see yourself out? 我就不送你出去了？
Of course. 好的
Is Mrs. Egermann there? 是伊格曼女生吗？
Yes, it's important, very important. 是的，很重要，非常重要
Professor Jensen. 延森教授
Yes, that's better. I'll wait. 好的，我等一下
Katarina? 卡塔丽娜？
Peter was just here. 彼得刚刚在这
No, he just left. 不，他刚走
Can you come? 你能来吗？
I'll leave the door open. 我把门开着
Yes. 好的
Sorry I'm late. 抱歉我迟到了
I had to park the car a little ways away, so that they don't — 我得把车停远点，以免他们……
Then I walked here. It got damned cold. 然后我走过来的，冷死了
How are you? 你好吗？
Let me see. 让我看看
You look quite well. 看起来不错
Do you have something to drink? 你有什么喝的吗？
- How's your fashion show coming along? - It will be fine. -你的时装秀进展如何？ -很不错
- Are you coming? - Fanny is. I can't. -你会来吗？ -很遗憾，我去不了
I'm giving a lecture at the medical society. 我要在医学会里做个讲座
So I must stay home and do my homework. 所以我得待在家里准备
- Then you'll go to Tunisia. - On Friday. -然后你会去突尼斯 -周五去
- How long will you stay? - Six weeks. -在那待多久？ -六周
Alone? 你一个人？
Of course. 当然
What a fabulous wine. 真是好酒
And your wife? 你的妻子呢？
For the past seven years, we've spent our holidays apart. 过去七年里我们都是各过各的假期
- Yes, you told me about it. - Why don't you come along? -是的，你跟我说过 -你一起来吧？
- To Tunisia? - Why not? -去突尼斯？ -不好吗？
And Peter? 彼得呢？
Maybe he would find it quite convenient. 也许他会觉得方便极了
With all your intelligence, can't you grasp that I love my husband? 你这么聪明，难道看不出我爱我的丈夫吗？
- Haven't you ever... - Often. -难道你从未…… -经常
Much too often. But that's another matter. 有太多次了，但那是另一码事
I don't understand. 我不明白
You don't need to. 你不需要明白
It makes me curious. 这让我好奇
I do find you attractive. 你确实吸引到我了
I even think we'd have a great time in bed. 我甚至觉得我们在床上会很愉快
But taking a trip is something completely different. 但一起旅行是完全不同的事情
And now? 那现在怎样？
I didn't come here to sleep with you, but to talk about Peter. 我不是过来跟你睡觉的，而是谈彼得的事
Besides, I have my period. 另外，我来月经了
Those are two pathetic excuses. 这是两个牵强的理由
Anyway, we can't stay here. 总之，我们不能待在这儿
No, we can't. 是的，不能
What do you suggest? 你有什么建议吗？
- In there? - Not the first time, is it? -到那边去？ -这不是第一次了，对吗？
That's subject to doctor-patient confidentiality. 这是医生和患者间的机密
Where's the bathroom? 浴室在哪？
Here you are. 在这
I'm sorry, but I can't. 抱歉，我不能
I really do think it would be fun, but I can't. 我真的觉得这会很有趣，但我不能
Because of Peter? 因为彼得？
Yes, because of Peter. 是的，因为彼得
How touching. 真感人
Why the irony? 为什么讽刺？
It wasn't ironic, cross my heart. 不是讽刺，发自内心
Peter wanted to talk to me. 彼得想和我谈谈
He claims to be haunted by an obsessive idea. 他声称被一个强迫性的念头困扰
- An obsessive idea? - A recurring thought. -强迫性的念头？ -一个反复出现的想法
Is it serious? 严重吗？
Many people exaggerate the meaning of their complaints. They get scared. 许多人放大了他们的苦恼的含义，他们被吓住了
And their fears become worse than the ideas themselves. 然后他们的恐惧就变得比本来的想法更加糟糕
What kind of ideas? 什么样的想法？
Death fantasies, suicidal thoughts, murder, acts of violence. 死亡幻想，自杀念头，谋杀，暴力行为
I still don't know exactly. He's coming back on Thursday 我还不是很清楚，他周四再来
maybe then we'll shed some light on the matter. 也许到时候就能弄清楚一些了
- Is there any danger that he'll — - It's probably not that serious. -他会不会做出危险的…… -大概没那么严重
And what can I do? 我能做什么？
Maybe you should go on a trip for a while. 也许你该去旅行一段时间
In the middle of the season. What a crazy idea. 在季度的中间，这太疯狂了
Besides, why should I? 话说回来，我为什么该去？
If Peter really is ill, he needs someone to take care of him. 如果彼得真的病了，他需要有人来照顾他
There's a small, but distinct possibility 有一个很小但很清晰的可能性
that you could be harmed yourself. 你可能会受到伤害
What do you mean? 什么意思？
- You think Peter — - Yes. -你认为彼得…… -是的
Did he say that... 他是不是说……
He hinted at it. 他暗示了
That sounds like absolute nonsense to me. 这在我听来完全是胡说八道
- So you can't go on a trip? - Absolutely not. You know that. -所以你不能去旅行？ -当然不能，你知道的
Could you accommodate someone at home, a guest? 你能在家里安置一个客人吗？
Peter would never allow it. 彼得绝对不会同意的
Haven't you got two nephews? 你不是有两个侄女吗？
A six-year-old and an eight-year-old in the house, that's impossible. 一个六岁一个八岁，这是不可能的
- Could Peter take a trip for a while? - He's incredibly busy. -彼得能去旅行一段时间吗？ -他忙得要命
They're heading into some terribly difficult negotiations. 他们再进行一些很艰难的谈判
I'll give him a doctor's prescription for a few months' leave. 我会给他开个医生处方，让他休息几个月
That's totally unrealistic. 这完全不现实
I can't come up with anything better right now. 我目前想不出更好的主意了
I think you're more worried than you'll admit. 我觉得你比你愿意承认的要更担心
Reasonably speaking, the risks are minimal. 理性地说，风险是极小的
Then let's stick with reason. 那就让我们保持理性吧
I don't know, Katarina. My intuition really troubles me. 我不知道，卡塔丽娜，我的直觉真的在困扰我
Is your intuition always right? 你的直觉总是对的吗？
I think so. 我想是的
I have intuition too. 我也有直觉
And what does it say? 它怎么说？
My intuition says you're trying — consciously or unconsciously — 我的直觉说你在有意无意地
to unveil the relationship between Peter and me. 试图揭露我和彼得的关系
Any reason for this? 为什么？
I don't know. 我不知道
Maybe you're just that kind of person. 或许你就是那种人
Now I'm surprised. 真让人惊讶
I've always beena little afraid of you. 我一直有点怕你
- But not only afraid. - Peter is a part of me. -但不只是怕 -彼得是我的一部分
Don't you understand that? 你不明白吗？
I carry him with me, wherever I go. 我无论去哪都带着他
He's within me. 他在我的内部
I've never felt like this for another person. 对别人，我都不会有这种感觉
Maybe it would be different if we had children. 也许我们有了孩子后会不同
Now, we're each a child to the other. 现在，我们就是彼此的孩子
No, that's not true. 不，那不对
Neither of us wants to be prudent and mature. 我们都不想变得谨慎而成熟
That's the reason we quarrel and fight and cry. 这就是为什么我们总在吵架、争执、哭泣
Neither of us wants to be grown up. 我们都不想长大
But the same blood runs through our veins. 但我们的血管里流着同样的血
Our nerves have grown together in an uncanny way. 我们的神经以一种难以解释的方式连在一起
Can you understand that? 你能明白吗？
If Peter isn't well, the same happens to me right away. 如果彼得遭到什么不测，我马上也会经受
I want to run home to Peter and hold him tight and say 我想跑回家紧紧抱住彼得说：
"Now... “现在……
from now on, I will understand everything you say and think... 从现在开始，我会理解你说的和你想的一切……
everything you feel." 你感受的一切”
I want to hold him tight, until he discovers me. 我想紧紧抱住他，知道他发现了我
How can it be that we don't see each other 怎么会这样，我们无法“看见”彼此
though we live together and know everything about one another? 尽管我们住在一起、对彼此知根知底？
One week after the murder, 谋杀发生一周前
the chief examiner talks to Peter Egermann's mother. 调查长官与彼得·伊格曼的母亲谈话
I'm so helpless. 我很无助
What do you want to know? 你想知道什么？
I'll be grateful for any information at all. 任何事情都好
Peter was a wanted child. 彼得就是我们想要的孩子
We were so happy. 我们那时很开心
He had a wonderful childhood. 他有一个很美好的童年
Maybe too protected, I don't know. 也许有点被过度保护了，我不知道
He was quite timid. 他非常胆小
He was scared of the dark. 害怕黑暗
He always wanted to have a light on in his room. 他总要求在房间里留盏灯
He was scared by many things, dogs, horses, large birds. 他害怕很多东西，狗，马，大鸟
His siblings were much tougher. 他的兄弟姐妹们就坚强多了
He was more like me. 他更像我一点
As a child, I was also very sensitive. 我小时候也很敏感
I was sickly. 很易病
I suffered from asthma and sudden allergies. 我有哮喘，以及突然的过敏
I remember that he used to chew on his nails. 我记得他以前会啃指甲
It looked quite dreadful. 很让人讨厌
He kept very close to his sister, who was three years younger. 他和比他小三岁的妹妹非常亲密
They played with puppets. 他们玩木偶
Puppet theater. 木偶剧场
In school, he was a fast learner. 他在学校学得很快
He always got the best grades. 总考第一名
He was much more gifted than his siblings. 他比他的兄弟姐妹们聪明多了
When he was 20, he met a very nice girl. 他二十岁时认识了一个很好的女孩
They got engaged and wanted to marry after graduation. 他们订婚了，打算毕业后结婚
But then he met Katarina. 但接着他就遇到了卡塔丽娜
不可救药地陷入爱河
Katarina immediately had a strong influence over Peter. 卡塔丽娜迅速对彼得产生了巨大的影响
She made the decisions. 她为他做决定
What Peter's parents felt or thought 彼得的父母的感觉和想法
didn't matter anymore. 再也不重要了
But maybe it's supposed to be like that. 但也许就该是那样
I don't know anything. 我什么都不知道
I don't understand anything. 我什么都不明白
How could I possibly understand? 我怎么可能明白？
Before I married, I was an actress. 结婚前，我是个演员
Afterwards, I was devoted to my children. 结婚后，我只有孩子
My husband didn't want me to keep working 我丈夫不希望我继续工作
and I never regretted it. 我也从未后悔
I've had a good and happy life. 我有过很好的、很开心的生活
A few days ago, Peter came round, but he didn't stay long. 前几天，彼得来找我，但没待太久
He'd had a list drawn up of things that needed mending in the house. 他列了房子里需要修理的东西的清单
We went through it together 我们一起核查
and he was supposed to speak with the architect and the construction firm. 然后他会和建筑师和施工队谈
It's a dilapidated old building, and the grounds are untended. 那是个废弃了的老房子，地板没被好好保养
In one wing, the roof is so poorly insulated 有个房间的屋顶防水很差
that moisture comes in when the snow melts. 雪一融化水就渗下来
We talked about all this. 我们谈论这些东西
We were both in a hurry. 我们都很着急
I was expecting guests for dinner and Peter had to go to a meeting. 我邀请了客人来吃晚餐，彼得要去开会
I didn't notice anything unusual. 我没注意到任何不寻常之处
Peter just said he was tired, because he'd had a cold. 彼得只是说他累了，因为得了感冒
Katarina was in Paris and hoped to be back by midweek. 卡塔丽娜还在巴黎，周中回来
We were laughing about the repairs and the architect's report. 我们边谈这些维修、建筑报告的东西边笑
It was very funny. 很好笑
Peter said I was living in a real dump. 彼得说我就像住在垃圾场
But I love my old house 但我爱我的老房子
and will never move out. 永远不会搬走
Five days before the disaster, 惨剧发生五天前
Katarina and Peter Egermann have a sleepless night. 卡塔丽娜和彼得·伊格曼度过一个不眠之夜
If you'd like to turn on the light and read, I don't mind. 你想开灯看书的话，我不介意的
I'll sleep anyway. 我怎么都能睡着
I think I'll get up for a while. 我觉得我得起来一会儿
Do you want me to warm up some milk? 你想让我去热点牛奶吗
No, thanks. 不用，谢谢
Should we turn on the heat? 要打开暖气吗？
Not for me. 我不需要
How is your cold? 你的感冒怎么样了？
My throat doesn't hurt anymore. 我嗓子不疼了
Good. 很好
I can't sleep either. 我也睡不着
It's probably due to the change in the weather, 可能是因为天气变化
or the full moon, 或者满月
or that gross food Oskar insisted on preparing himself. 或者奥斯卡非要自己做的恶心的食物
- What are you drinking? - Cognac. -你在喝什么？ -干邑
I'll have something, too. 我也想喝点
Your disgusting liqueur is there on your left. 你难喝的利口酒在你左边
Liqueur, at 3:00 in the morning? 凌晨三点，喝利口酒？
Just give me a little whiskey and I'm all set. 我喝点威士忌就好了
It's calming as well as healthy. 它能让人镇静，也有益健康
You shouldn't drink so much. 你不该喝这么多
I drink as much as I want, my dear. 我想喝多少酒喝多少，亲爱的
Besides, I never lose my self-control. 而且我从没有失控过
Are you aware that you were pretty obnoxious last night? 你知道你昨晚有多讨厌吗？
I'm perfectly aware of that. 我完全知道
You had too much to drink and became obnoxious. 你喝了太多，变得讨人烦
I did it on purpose. 我是故意的
Is that so? On purpose? 是吗？故意的？
I like to embarrass Martin. 我想让马丁尴尬
You certainly accomplished that. 那你真是做到了
He likes to grope me secretly. 他喜欢偷偷摸我
That's why I get drunk and grope him — openly. 所以我就喝醉后大大方方地摸他
It's a clever form of revenge, you know, my little Peter? 这是很聪明的报复，你说呢，小彼得？
You get loud and talk nonsense. That can't be on purpose. 你吵吵闹闹、胡说八道，那不可能是故意的
Only you think I get loud and talk nonsense. 只有你觉得我吵吵闹闹、胡说八道
All the others think that I'm incredibly nice. 别人都觉得我好极了
- To hell with those dinners. - Next week, we have five. -去他妈的晚宴 -下周我们有五场
- You actually seem to like them. - You like them, too. -你看起来很喜欢它们 -你也是
Not anymore. 我不再喜欢了
Tomorrow, we'll have dinner at your mother's. 明晚我们要去你妈妈家赴宴
- It's important. - For you, not for me. -那很重要 -对你而已，对我不是
It's a business occasion. 那是生意应酬
I don't have time. 我没时间
Katarina, you promised. 卡塔丽娜，你答应过的
Your business partners actually think it's an honor 你那些生意伙伴甚至引以为豪：
if your hideous old mother serves them muck... 你可怕的老妈妈在他的老垃圾场里
in her old dump — it's unbelievable. 喂给他们垃圾——难以置信
My mother is a relic. 我妈妈是个遗迹
Your mother is a decrepit relic of your father's reign of terror. 你妈妈是你爸爸恐怖统治下的老破遗迹
Well. 好
Katarina is off to bed. 卡塔丽娜要回床上了
You know I have to get up at a quarter to 7:00. 你知道我得在七点十五起床
I'll sleep in the study. 我会睡在书房
Don't you have tennis tomorrow morning? 你明早不去打网球吗？
Harry has arm aches. 哈里胳膊疼
He smokes too much. 他抽烟太多了
The arm aches don't come from smoking. 胳膊疼和抽烟没关系
If you smoke 60 to 70 cigarettes a day 如果你一天抽60到70支烟
your circulation and muscles are bound to suffer. 你的循环系统和肌肉都会遭殃
- Of course, the circulation will suffer. - That goes without saying. -当然，循环系统会遭殃 -那不言而喻
It goes without saying that it goes without saying. 不言而喻那不言而喻
So you don't want me to wake you before I leave? 那你不需要我出门前叫醒你吗？
- When do you leave? - Just before 8:00. -你几点出门？ -八点前
Then wake me just before 8:00. 那就八点前叫我
Good night, my darling. 晚安，宝贝
Good night, my dear. 晚安，亲爱的
Peter? 彼得？
Yes. 嗯
Can't you tell me why you're so unhappy? 能告诉我你为什么这么不开心吗？
I'm neither unhappy nor happy. 我不是不开心也不是开心
Shit. 妈的
- Are you worried? - On the contrary. -你担心吗？ -恰恰相反
Business is excellent, if that's what you mean. 如果你是指生意，它棒极了
No, that's not what I meant. 不，我不是在说这个
All paths are barred... 所有路都堵死了……
if you know what I mean. 如果你知道我的意思
No. 不
Never mind. 别管了
You must give me an example. 你得举个例子
- Weariness. - Weariness? -疲倦 -疲倦？
I don't even know what that is. 我甚至不知道那是什么
One of the typical components of weariness... 疲倦的一个典型成分是
is to feel an invincible weariness to explain it... 对于解释疲倦由何而来
when asked where weariness comes from. 感到无法克服的疲倦
I'm going to tell you something I didn't want to tell you. 我想跟你说点我本不想说的事
It's nothing special. 并不特别
Only a feeling. 只是一种感觉
So? 然后呢？
It was yesterday, early in the morning. 是在昨天清早
I was in the bathroom taking a shower. 我在浴室洗澡
I dried my skin with a towel that was freshly washed and firm 我用毛巾擦干身体，毛巾刚洗过，干干净净
and smelled good. 闻起来也很好
Suddenly, I had an insight, if that's what you can call it. 突然，我有了一种洞悉，你可以这么叫它
I looked at all the familiar things around me and knew 我看着周边熟悉的事物，知道了
that they would no longer belong to me. 它们不再属于我
That all would be taken away from me. 它们都会被剥夺掉
Nothing that I saw around me would be mine anymore. 任何我看到的东西都不再是我的
A minute later, I'd forgotten all about it. 一分钟之后，我就全忘了
But yesterday evening, it came back, several times. 但昨天晚上，它又回来了，好几次
I'm tired, Katarina. 我累了，卡塔丽娜
Do you think you can sleep now? 你现在觉得能睡着了？
I took another sleeping pill. 我又吃了一片安眠药
Come. Let's go back to bed. 来，我们回床上
- What time is it? - Almost 4:00. -现在几点？ -大概四点
Now you can hear the freight trucks on the freeway. 现在你能听到高速公路上载货卡车的声音
We've got two alternatives. First, we could bear the investment costs 我们有两种方案，一种是承担投资费用
with the license fee rising according to current interest rates 而将许可费根据当前利率上涨
and taking into account a decent amortization. 并考虑合理的分期偿还
Or the opposing party bears the investment costs on their own. 另一种是由对方自己承担投资费用
The first alternative seems to be preferable. 第一种方案似乎更可取
New paragraph. 新一段
We agreed on an amortization period of seven years. 我们商定了七年的偿还分期
That's a long time. 这是段很长的时间
But since the reward for our service includes all necessary repairs — 但由于我们服务的报酬包含所有必要的维修费
dash — during which we can replace, bit by bit, all worn out parts — 破折号，在此期间我们可以一点点更换所有磨损的零件
dash — 破折号
it is nevertheless to our advantage. 因而这对我们有利
Since the equipment, which still remains our property, 由于目前仍属于我们的资产的设备
is amortized after seven years 将在七年后分期偿还完毕
they feel that the license fee should be reduced afterwards. 因此他们认为此后应降低许可费
New paragraph. In the long run, they are right, of course. 新一段，长期来看他们当然是对的
But that means we have to tell them right now what the equipment costs. 但这意味着我们现在就得告诉他们设备的价格
Since we supposed they'd choose the first alternative when calculating the fee 由于我们认为他们在计算费用时会采取第一种方案
we set the costs very high. 所以我们把设备价格定得非常高
If the costs are to be deducted from the license fee after seven years, 如果设备价格从七年后的许可费中扣除
that will mean that our revenues will be smaller than expected. 那就意味着我们的收益会小于预期
Please copy this for all board members, for the records 请将这份文件复制给所有董事会成员、记录
for you and me and for the main file. 给你和我、以及主档
That will be all, Mrs. Anders. 就这些，安德斯女士
Would you like a cup of coffee, Mr. Egermann? 需要喝杯咖啡吗，伊格曼先生？
No, thanks. 不了，谢谢
Could I leave at 5:00 tomorrow? I need to go to the dentist. 我明天可以五点走吗？我要去看牙医
Of course. 当然
Are you all right? 你还好吗？
I'm fine, thanks. 我很好，谢谢
Your mother called. I told her you were in a meeting. 你妈妈打过电话，我跟她说你在开会
Excellent. 非常好
She wanted me to remind you of your appointment. 她让我提醒你记住你的约定
Thanks. 谢谢
Four days before the disaster, Katarina Egermann prepares her fashion show. 惨剧发生四天前，卡塔丽娜·伊格曼在准备她的时装秀
It must be like this, not like that. Can you change this by tomorrow? 必须做成这样，而非那样，你明天之内能换过来吗？
No trouble at all, Katarina. Did you talk to Milan? 没问题，卡塔丽娜，你跟米兰说过了吗？
Yes, Ariadner called this afternoon. 是的，阿里亚纳下午打过电话了
- Did you talk to Paul? - I talked to him 10 minutes ago. -你跟保罗说过了吗？ -十分钟前说了
He's been in airport customs since 8:00 in the morning. 他从上午八点起就在机场海关
No one has seen our sewing machine. No one knows anything. 没人见到过我们的缝纫机，没人知道任何东西
In any case, we won't send any money. 无论如何我们不会寄钱的
My God, is it already time? 我的天，已经到时间了吗？
Did you have to wait? 你等了多久？
It's absolute chaos here. 这完全是一团糟
A fourth of the collection hasn't arrived. Can you imagine? 四分之一的藏品还没到，你敢信吗？
Do you want to go? 你要走了吗？
We have a stupid dinner with Peter's mother. We're terribly late. 我们要和彼得的妈妈吃一顿愚蠢的晚饭，已经晚了
As soon as I can leave, I'll come back. Take care, my dear. 我一能脱身就会回来，保重，亲爱的
Come. 来吧
I need a drink. 我要喝一杯
- We're late anyway. - I need a drink! -我们已经晚了 -我要喝一杯！
You'll have something when we get there. 你可以到了后再喝
I need something strong to deal with your mother and those people. 我得喝点烈的才能应付你妈妈和那些人
Please be kind, Peter, my darling. 求你了，彼得，亲爱的
We'll go to the bar, it only takes a few minutes. 我们去一趟酒吧，只要几分钟
Can I get another one, dear Jack? 再来一杯，亲爱的杰克
- Now you're incredibly annoyed. - Now I'm incredibly annoyed. -现在你烦得不得了吧 -现在我烦得不得了
That makes you more handsome. Your eyes get dark. Your cheeks blush. 这让你更帅了，你眼睛变黑了，脸颊变红了
- I like you when — - I'm tired! -我喜欢你这…… -够了！
You were the one who accepted the invitation. 是你接受邀请的
I asked you first. 我问过你
You asked me after you'd already accepted it. 你在接受了之后问过我
You know as well as I do that it's an important dinner. 你跟我一样清楚这是个重要的晚宴
You can get as annoyed as you want, but I need another drink. 你要烦就烦，但我要再喝一杯
Jack! 杰克
Okay. I'll leave you alone and tell Mama you can't find the time. 好吧，你自己待在这吧，我跟妈妈说你忘了时间
An excellent idea! 好主意
- Anything else, Mrs. Egermann? - No, thanks. -还要些什么吗，伊格曼夫人？ -不了，谢谢
Didn't you accompany Peter to his mother's dinner? 你不和彼得一起去他妈妈的晚宴吗？
No. 不
- How's it going upstairs? - Everything is under control. -楼上情况如何？ -都没问题
We're taking a break until 4:00. I hope you don't mind? 我们休息到四点，希望你不介意
I don't mind. 我不介意
- Have you had anything to eat? - I don't think so. -你吃东西了吗？ -没有
I've got an excellent idea. 我有个好主意
You'll come to my place for a few hours. 来我家待几个小时
You'll take a nice bath, while I prepare us a lovely salad. 你可以好好洗个澡，我来做点沙拉
- I'm quite comfortable sitting here. - Come, Katarina. -我在这坐得很舒服 -来吧，卡塔丽娜
You need to get out of here for a while. 你需要出去透透气
- I feel guilty. - Because of Peter? -我感到内疚 -因为彼得？
Can you imagine anything as stupid as that? 你能想到有这么傻的事吗？
Come now, Katarina. 快来吧，卡塔丽娜
Martin was really a fine person. 马丁是个很好的人
We were very attached to each other. 我们彼此都很喜欢
But, as you know, 但你知道
there is no such thing as faithfulness, 没有忠诚这种事
no real faithfulness. 没有真正的忠诚
If you're gay, you're unfaithful. 同性恋都是不忠诚的
It's because of the children. 因为孩子
I mean, because of the sad fact that we can't have children 我是说，因为我们不能生孩子这个悲伤的事实
and aren't allowed to adopt. 而且也不能领养孩子
Peter and I are also childless. 我和彼得也没有孩子
I've always liked children. 我一直都很喜欢孩子
I think I'd make a fairly good mother. 我觉得我能当个好母亲
- Don't you think so? - Yes. -你同意吗？ -是的
Martin fell madly in love with a schoolboy. 马丁疯狂地爱上了一个男学生
The parents of the boy were desperate. 那个男孩的家长不顾一切
It nearly became a scandal. 险些酿成一桩丑闻
Well. 好吧
Of course I felt abandoned 当然了，我感到被抛弃了
and I went into mourning. 非常悲伤
Then I got this flat, as a consolation. 然后我得到了这个公寓作为安慰
Martin would come by often. 马丁不时会来
He used to sit in the chair you're sitting in now. 他曾坐在你坐的这张椅子上
Sometimes he cried. 有时他会哭泣
It was hard. 很艰难
Those were hard times. 是段很艰难的日子
That boy was a real devil, I tell you. 我跟你说，那个男孩就是个恶魔
But the flat is pretty. 不过公寓是很漂亮
It really is. 真的是
Very pretty. 很漂亮
It's nice to be with you. 和你待在一起真好
How many years have we known each other? 我们认识多少年了？
Fifteen years, Tim. 十五年了，蒂姆
God, Katarina. 天啊，卡塔丽娜
We've known each other for 15 years. 我们认识十五年了
And for 12 years, we've been working together. 其中十二年，我们一起工作
Are you sad? 你伤心吗？
Do I seem to be? 我看起来像吗？
You're always so friendly 你总是很友好
and hard working 很努力
and self-controlled. 很自制
It suddenly occurred to me that you're incredibly sad. 我突然想到，你其实很伤心
I'm sorry, Katarina. I didn't mean to embarrass you. 抱歉，卡塔丽娜，我不是想要让你难堪
- Maybe I feel like crying. - Do cry, if you feel like it. -可能我想哭一场 -你想哭就哭吧
It wouldn't embarrass me at all. 这不会让我感到难堪
On the contrary, I'd consider it an act of faith. 正相反，这是忠诚的体现
Most gays like women. 多数男同性恋都喜欢女人
Not because we're particularly feminine. 不是因为我们非常女性化
No. 不
But because we're more in touch with our feelings. 而是因为我们有更深的情感体验
I don't know. I didn't come up with that. 我不知道，我没有这种经验
Martin said it, but it can be true nonetheless. 是马丁说的，不过这大概是对的
It's an infinite sadness, you know, Tim. I've never — 是一种无尽的悲伤，你知道吗，蒂姆，我从未……
Or maybe it's not sadness, but some kind of frenzy. 或者说不是悲伤，而是疯狂
People like me have never concerned ourselves with the soul. 我这样的人从不关心自己的灵魂
Then suddenly, the soul starts to scream, and you don't know what to do. 突然之间，灵魂开始尖啸，我却无计可施
- Do you understand what I mean? - I understand. -你能明白吗？ -我明白
Maybe first there'll be tears. 也许一开始只是哭泣
A crying, that gets stranger and stranger as it comes out. 而哭泣渐渐变了样
It changes to a terrible wailing of sadness and hopelessness. 变成悲伤与绝望的哀号
Then it turns into blind screaming. 接着变成盲目的尖啸
Screaming and screaming. 尖啸不止
Maybe you have to break down every once in a while. 也许你得不时崩溃痛哭一下
It happened several times to me in my life. 我人生里有过几次
I don't know whether I regret my breakdowns. 我不知道我是否对此后悔
I don't think so. 但应该是不的
Mostly love was to blame. 多数时候，是爱情惹的祸
I'm pathologically dependent on being close to somebody. 我对于与别人亲近有病态的依赖
But where do you find that? 但从何得到？
And when I say "close," 而且我说的“亲近”
I mean it. 是真正意义的“亲近”
It's always the same sad story. 总是同样的悲伤的故事
Sometimes the body gets in the way, sometimes the soul. 有时是身体不和谐，有时是灵魂不融洽
You scrape by on hopes and delusions and compromises. 只能靠希望、幻想和妥协勉强支撑
God, have I become a theorist. 天啊，我成了一个理论家
I've got a present for you. 我有个礼物给你
- A present? - Wait just a moment. -礼物？ -稍等
Here you go. 给你
- But my dearest Katarina! - I wanted to give it to Peter -你真好，卡塔丽娜 -我本是给彼得准备的
but he was foolish, so he won't get it. 但他太愚蠢了，我不想给他了
- Really nice. - I bought it in Milan. -真好看 -我在米兰买的
I think it will suit you. 你戴着会很搭
You sometimes wear that color. 你有时穿这个颜色
See? 看
Does it make me look older? 我戴着它会显老吗？
You don't want to get older, do you? 你不想变老，对吗？
Wrinkles don't matter. 皱纹倒没什么
It's all that ugliness that tortures me. 是丑陋让我受折磨
The skin that gets dry and rough, though I put on lotion every night. 尽管我每晚都用化妆水，皮肤还是越来越干燥、粗糙
And this deep furrow next to the mouth. 还有嘴边这道深深的皱褶
One morning I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror 有一天早上，我起床照镜子
and it was suddenly there. 它突然出现
I felt as if I'd suffered a light stroke. 我感觉自己像是中风了
My neck is all right. 脖子倒还好
Around my eyes, that's no catastrophe. 眼角也问题不大
But my hands, my hands are horrible. 但是我的手，它们糟透了
I asked three doctors what to do with my hands 我问过三个医生该怎么办
how to remove these brown marks, the veins, the wrinkles. 怎么去除这些棕色的痕迹，血管，皱纹
It looks hideous. 看起来太丑了
I look at my mouth and my hands 我看着我的嘴和手
and I don't trust my eyes. 不敢相信自己的眼睛
I'm just a child. 我还是个孩子
Or maybe I'm not a child anymore? 亦或，我不再是孩子了？
I don't understand matters of time. 我搞不懂时间
It doesn't exist, say those who've contemplated this problem. 那些思考时间的人说，时间并不存在
That's entirely right. 完全正确
I close my eyes and feel like I'm 10 years old. 我闭上眼，感觉自己只有十岁
Physically, as well. 身体也是一样
Then I open my eyes 然后我睁开眼
and look in the mirror 看到镜中
and an old geezer is standing there. 站着一个糟老头子
A childlike old geezer. 一个孩子似的糟老头子
Isn't that strange? 这不奇怪吗？
A childlike old geezer, that's all. 一个孩子似的糟老头子，仅此而已
No, there's something more. 不，还有些别的
What is it? 是什么？
This is how you become. 这是你变成的样子
I don't understand. 我不懂
This is just how you become. 这就是你变成的样子
Being close to somebody is just a dream. 和别人亲近只是个梦
Rudeness and disgrace. 粗野、耻辱
Sometimes I must go to certain places, if you know what I mean. 有时我必须到一些地方，你懂的
I pick up the worst guys there. You wouldn't believe your eyes. 我勾搭最坏的男孩，你没听错
Pleasure and mad arousal and terror and disgrace. 愉悦、狂乱、恐惧和耻辱
All in a wild confusion. 全都混作一团
That's the love life of your childlike old geezer, 这就是你孩子似的糟老头子的爱情生活
not closeness and tenderness. 既不亲密，也不温情
Someday I'll be beaten to death, of course. 自然有一天我会死
But that can also be appealing. 但那也是吸引人的
I'm controlled by forces I can't control. 我被我无法控制的力量所控制
Doctors. 医生
Lovers. 情人
Pills. 药片
Drugs. 药物
Alcohol. 酒精
Work. 工作
Nothing helps. 全无帮助
They are secret forces. 那是神秘的力量
What are they called? 叫做什么来着？
I don't know. 我不知道
Maybe it's aging itself. 也许就是衰老本身
Decay. “衰退”
I don't know. 我不知道
Forces I can't handle. 我无法掌控的力量
I lean towards the mirror and look into my face, 我照向镜子，看着我的脸
which is quite familiar to me. 那么熟悉
And I notice in that combination of blood, flesh, nerves and bones 然后我注意到在血液、骨肉与神经之间
two completely incompatible — 有两个全然不可调和的
I don't know how to call it — 我不知该怎么说
two incompatibles — 两个不可调和之物
the dream of closeness, tenderness, community, 亲密、温情、共享的幻梦
obliviousness of all living things. 所有生物遗忘的东西
And on the other side, violence, disgrace 另一边是暴力，耻辱
terror, threat of death. 恐惧，和死亡的威胁
Sometimes I believe 有时我相信
all of this has the same origin. 所有这些都有相同的起源
I don't know. 我不知道
How would I know? 我怎么会知道？
Maybe my dreams were a little too nice. 也许我梦想得太美了
As a punishment — 作为惩罚
Life is hardest when you don't expect it to be. 未经防备时的生活是最难的
As a punishment, you get an orgasm 作为惩罚，在
with your nose so deep in shit that you almost suffocate. 鼻子深埋在屎里、几乎要窒息时得到高潮
Katarina. 卡塔丽娜
Look at me. 看着我
Please take my hand. 抓住我的手
Put it softly to your cheek. 把它轻轻放在你脸颊上
Do you feel my hand? 你感觉到它了吗？
But do you also feel that it's me? 但你也能感觉到，它是属于我的吗？
That it's me? 是属于我的吗？
Three days after the murder, Tim talks to the chief examiner. 谋杀发生三天后，蒂姆和调查长官谈话
Could I have your full legal name? 你的全名？
Tim. T-I-M. 蒂姆，嘚咦蒂，么唔姆
That's your artistic name, your signature or whatever you call it. 这是你的艺名、化名之类的
We want to know your full legal name. 我们想知道你法律上的全名
My name is Tim. I'm called Tim everywhere in Europe and America. 我的名字是蒂姆，我在欧洲和美国的任何地方都被叫作蒂姆
As far as I can tell from the documents, 但根据档案
your name is Thomas Isidor Mandelbaum. 你的名字是Thomas Isidor Mandelbaum
If you already know my name, I don't see why you're asking me. 既然你都知道了，为什么还问我
It's just routine. We need to ask your name 只是惯例，我们需要问你的名字
to avoid mistaking you for someone else. 以免把你错当成别人
Absolutely impossible. 完全没必要
This is not an interrogation, but an informal conversation. 这不是审讯，只是个非正式的谈话
May I ask you then to turn off the recorder. 那我能请你把录音机关掉吗
Does it bother you? 你介意吗？
If it didn't, I wouldn't ask you to turn it off. 我不介意就不会提出要求了
- Now it's turned off. - Much obliged. -现在我关掉了 -感激不尽
Would you like a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, a cigarette? 你想喝杯咖啡、红酒或抽支烟吗？
- No, thanks. - Maybe a glass of water or some tea? -不用，谢谢 -也许喝杯水或茶？
Unfortunately, we're not very well equipped. 请见谅，我们没有准备得很齐全
Thank you, I don't want anything. 谢谢，我什么都不需要
Then may we start, Mr. Tim? 那就开始吧，蒂姆先生？
Please. 来吧
- I assure you it won't hurt. - I'm sure it won't. -我保证你不会受伤 -我确信无比
I asked you to come here, because you're a friend of the family. 我请你过来，是因为你是伊格曼家的朋友
I've been Katarina Egermann's closest coworker for 10, no, 12 years. 我是卡塔丽娜·伊格曼近十年，不，十二年最亲密的同事
For the last 10 years, we've been partners. 近十年里，我们是搭档
For the first two years, we were employees. 头两年我们都是雇员
- You know Peter Egermann? - Of course. -你认识彼得·伊格曼吗？ -当然
How was the relationship between husband and wife? 他们夫妻间关系如何？
Good. 很好
Talks with Peter Egermanns's mother gave me a different impression. 然而跟彼得·伊格曼的母亲的交谈带给我另一番印象
Then you've got two contradictory impressions. Isn't that interesting? 那你就有两种相反的印象了，这不是很有趣吗？
Did you have an affair with Peter Egermann? 你和彼得·伊格曼有染吗？
No. 没有
You seem to hesitate? 你犹豫了一下
I never had an affair with Peter Egermann. 我从未和彼得·伊格曼有染
We never touched. 我们从未触碰过
Maybe we took each other's hand or hugged, as close friends do. 也许只像亲密的朋友那样握手或拥抱过
Excuse me for being so direct. 请原谅我这么直接
I'm used to it. 我已经习惯了
- You knew the murdered girl? - Yes. -你认识受害的女孩？ -是的
- How well did you know her? - We were good friends. -你对她有多了解？ -我们是好朋友
How is it that you're friends with a prostitute? 你怎么和妓女交上朋友的？
I don't know what to think of that question, Inspector. 我无法思考这个问题，长官
It's either mean, insinuating or naive. 它幼稚刻薄、含沙射影
My answer is that I don't like that question. 我的答案是，我不喜欢这个问题
It's out of place in a confidential conversation. 它不应出现在一次机密谈话中
I didn't mean to offend you. 无意冒犯
I'll try to believe you. 我会试着相信你
Do you live alone? 你独居吗？
Yes, I live alone. 是的，我独居
So your friend would put you in touch with others, from time to time? 所以你的朋友会不时让你和别人会面？
It's happened. 是会这样
So you brought Peter Egermann together with Katarina Krafft 所以是你介绍彼得·伊格曼和卡塔丽娜·克拉夫特认识
or Ka, as she was called everywhere. 或照大家所称的，小卡
You might say that. 可以这么说
How did that happen? 是怎么发生的？
Well, it was on a Sunday, last fall. I was at the central station. 嗯，是去年秋天的一个周日，我在中央车站
You were going on a trip? 你们要去旅行？
At the central station, there are young men of various nationalities 在中央车站，有来自许多国家的年轻男性
who like to earn a little money on Sunday afternoons. 他们愿意在周日下午赚点小钱
Suddenly and unexpectedly, I bumped into Peter Egermann. 突然，我意外撞见了彼得·伊格曼
He was at the international newsstand to buy foreign newspapers. 他在国际报摊上买外国报纸
We had a cup of coffee together. 我们一起喝了杯咖啡
For some reason, I told him what I was doing at the station. 出于某种原因，我告诉了他我在车站做什么
Peter seemed to be interested. 彼得看上去挺感兴趣
He told me that he'd never been with a prostitute before. 他跟我说他从未找过妓女
I recommended Katarina Krafft to him, 我向他推荐了卡塔丽娜·克拉夫特
gave him her address and promised to talk to her. 给了他她的地址，答应跟她说好
That's the whole story. 这就是完整的故事
That's the truth, yet not even the half of it. 这就是事实，但只是一半都不到的事实
I was furious with Katarina Egermann. 我对卡塔丽娜·伊格曼很恼火
In fact, I'd always been furious with her, 事实上，我总对她感到很恼火
though I liked her at the same time. 尽管同时我也喜欢她
I liked the thought of Peter cheating on her with a prostitute. 我乐于去想彼得背着她去嫖妓
That's also only half of the truth. 这也只是一半事实
Weak people choose strange ways. 弱者选择奇怪的方式
You must know that, Inspector. 你得知道这一点，长官
It tortures me that I was the one 我会受到我是……
who brought the perpetrator and victim together. 介绍凶手和受害者认识的人的折磨
Please excuse me for putting it so dramatically. 请原谅我这么夸张
I just have a guilty conscience. 我只是有良心、会内疚
I blame my homosexuality for it. 我怪罪自己的同性取向
But that's also only half of the truth. 但那也只是一半事实
This is starting to get really interesting, don't you think? 越来越有趣了，不是吗？
The truth is that I wanted Peter for myself, of course. 事实就是，我想拥有彼得，不言而喻
But I didn't understand that. 但我不明白
I wanted to have a shared secret with him. 我想和他之间有个秘密
I wanted to lure him slowly away from his wife. 我想引诱他慢慢离开他的妻子
I saw the terrible coldness in his marriage 我看到了他婚姻中的严寒
and was a little obsessed by the idea he might turn to me. 有点痴迷于他可能会转向我的念头
That he would finally discover me. 他终会发现我
That he would understand 会明白
that I love him secretly. 我在默默爱着他
Emotionally, Peter was a dying man. 彼得在情感上是个垂死之人
Just like a man can die from hunger, thirst or loss of blood. 就像因饥渴或失血而死的人一样
I knew that I could save him. 我知道我能救他
And I wished that he would come looking for me. 期待他会来找我
That he would want to be close to me. 期待他与我亲密
I don't think that I'm wrong. 我不觉得我是错的
People of my sort have a feeling for this. 我这种人会有这样的感觉
What I've just told you may not be the truth either. 我刚跟你说的也不见得就是事实
Certain intelligent people say we're completely blind. 有些智者说，我们是完全盲目的
That we're moving in prescribed patterns 我们以规定的方式行动
and that we're predetermined from birth on — or oppressed. 从出生起就被先定——或压迫
By the way, it makes absolutely no difference. 顺便说一下，这完全没什么影响
Don't you agree? 不是吗？
Peter Egermann wrote a letter to Professor Jensen. 彼得·伊格曼给延森教授写了一封信
(It was never sent.) （信件从未送达）
Dear Mogens, 亲爱的莫根斯
what I am going to describe is no dream in the common sense, 我接下来要说的不是通常观念下的梦
though it happened at night 尽管它是在晚上
under the influence of alcohol and sleeping pills. 在酒精和安眠药的作用下产生的
What I experienced seemed more real and more terrifying 我这个经历的真实、可怕程度
than the gray reality of my everyday life. 超过了我的灰色日常生活
But that's a cliché. 不过，这是陈词滥调了
You can toss it in the wastebasket. 你可以把信捏成一团扔掉
I don't write to entertain, but because I can't help it. 我不是写以消遣，而是不由自主
I dreamed I was sleeping. 我梦见我在睡觉
I dreamed I was dreaming. 我梦见我在做梦
Everything was very sensual. 一切都是肉欲的
In the broader sense — not simply erotic. 广义上的肉欲，而非单纯的色情
But somehow there was a clear connection 但不知为何，有种清晰的联系
between my nether regions 出现在我的下体
and the intense and good scent of a woman's wetness. 和女人湿润之处的浓烈香气之间
Sweat. 汗水
Saliva. 唾液
The fresh smell of thick hair. 浓密头发的新鲜气味
With closed eyes, I was moving across a glittering, expansive plain 我闭着眼穿过一个闪闪发光的广阔的平原
and everything was silent. 万物俱寂
My satisfaction was complete 我获得了满足
and I had the strange desire to tell a funny story. 有种想讲个有趣故事的奇怪欲望
But I couldn't speak. 但我讲不出
That didn't trouble me at all. On the contrary, I felt 那完全不碍事，恰恰相反，我感到
that my floating was closely connected to my speechlessness 我的浮游和我的无言紧紧相连
and that my brain was intensely focused on my hands, 我的大脑集中在我的手上
or rather on my fingertips. 或不如说，指尖
On every finger was a little eye 每个手指上，有个小小的眼睛
that registered with blinking joy 布满闪烁的喜悦
the glittering whiteness and the floating. 华丽的洁白，以及浮游
It was good like this. 就是这般美妙
It could stay like this. 可以这样长存
I thought — 我想
or, more accurately, I didn't think at all. 更准确地说，我未经思考
It just flowed through my lips like a multi-colored ribbon. 就让它像彩带一样从我嘴中流出
"If you are my death, “若要死去
then be welcome, my death. 那便就死去
If you are life, 若要生存
then be welcome, my life." 那便就生存”
I am in a closed room, without windows or doors 我在一个没有门窗的封闭房间
but also without a roof or walls. 也无天花板或墙壁
Maybe I'm enclosed in a sphere or an ellipse, I don't know. 也许我被包在一个球或椭球里，我无从得知
It never occurred to me to study the shape of this space. 我从未想过去思考空间的形状
I dreamed 我梦到
that I was waking up from a deep sleep. 我从熟睡中醒来
I was lying on the floor, which was soft like a thick rug 我躺在像地毯一样柔软的地面上
and I felt comfortable and content. 感到舒适愉快
Next to me was Katarina. 卡塔丽娜在我旁边
Still motionless, sleeping. 仍一动不动地睡着
I knew at once that this was all a dream. 我马上意识到这只是个梦
I told myself in a low voice to have no fear. 我低声告诉自己不要怕
The only danger was becoming scared 唯一的危险是变得恐惧
being overcome by panic 被惊慌战胜
and trying to get out 尝试挣脱于
crying or screaming or banging against the walls. 哭泣、尖叫或撞击墙壁
I decided to stay calm. 我决定要保持冷静
Katarina slowly woke up. 卡塔丽娜慢慢醒来
I tried to talk to her. 我试着跟她交谈
But I didn't reach her. 但没能做到
She pretended she didn't notice my presence. 她装作没注意到我的存在
She was soft. 她很柔软
And, in an arousing way, indifferent. 并在情欲上无动于衷
I wanted to make love. 我想做爱
But she escaped me. I never managed to enter her. 但她逃开了我，我没能成功进入她的身体
She looked at me through half-closed eyes and smiled. 她边用半睁的眼睛看着我边微笑
Senseless rage seized me and I drew back in order not to kill her. 无因的愤怒袭来，我退到一旁以免把她杀死
I almost choked with frenzy and terror. 我几乎因愤怒与恐惧窒息了
I had to be calm, not scared. 我得保持镇静，不要害怕
Controlled, not erratic. 保持控制，不要慌乱
Everything had gone wrong. 一切都失了样
There was a moment of tenderness. 有过一个温情的瞬间
Of complete calm. 一个完全镇静的瞬间
It is difficult to describe that moment. 很难去描述那个瞬间
The air changed. 空气变了
It became mild and easy to breathe. 变得温和而易于呼吸
The gray light disappeared 灰光消失了
and was replaced by the warm, soft dawn. 取而代之的是温暖柔和的黎明
It felt like tender hands touching our sore bodies. 就像一双柔软的手触摸着我们疼痛的身体
We met in sudden intimacy, 我们突然亲密无间
without reservations. 毫无保留
Then the horrible, 然后，糟糕的
the incomprehensible, 难以理解的
the irrevocable happened. 无法挽回的事发生了
Suddenly, Katarina was dead. 突然之间，卡塔丽娜死了
And I knew that I had killed her in some cruel, torturous way. 我知道是我用一种残忍痛苦的方式杀了她
I woke up again and sat up on my bed. 我又一次醒来，坐在床边
Below, on the freeway on-ramp, heavy traffic had set in. 楼下高速公路的匝道上交通繁忙
Everything was as usual. 一切如常
Katarina was sleeping at my side, quietly breathing. 卡塔丽娜正睡在我旁边，呼吸沉稳
Can you help me? 你能帮帮我吗？
Is there any help? 我还有救吗？
Can I live on? 我还能继续活下去吗？
Do I live at all? 我真的活着吗？
Or was that dream, as it was, my only short moment of life? 还是说，那个梦，是我生命里唯一的短暂瞬间？
Of truly experienced and conquered reality? 我唯一真正经历过、获得了的真实瞬间？
Two days before the disaster, 惨剧发生前两天
Peter Egermann threatens to commit suicide. 彼得·伊格曼威胁要自杀
Sorry for calling so early. 抱歉这么早打来电话
Can I speak to Professor Jensen? 我找教授延森
No, thanks. My apologies. 不了，谢谢，抱歉
Thanks for coming. I didn't know what to do. 谢谢你过来，我不知该怎么办
Maybe you can talk to him. 也许你能跟他谈谈
He's standing outside on the roof. 他站在屋顶外边
He — 他……
It is absolutely honorable to jump. 跳下去绝对是光荣的
But it's inhuman to torture one's fellow men. 但这样折磨别人可不人道
Soon someone will see you and call the police. 很快就会有人看见你并报警
Are you cold? 你冷吗？
May I at least bring you your fur coat? 至少让我把你的皮大衣拿来吧？
That would be nice. 那很好
Katarina? Do you have his fur coat? 卡塔丽娜？他的皮大衣在哪？
I'll get it. 我来拿
- Peter. - Leave me alone. -彼得 -别管我
Martha sends her regards. 玛莎致来问候
Poor Martha. We surely disturbed her. 可怜的玛莎，我们肯定打扰到她了
Not at all. She had an early surgery at the childrens' hospital. 完全没有，她在儿童医院做完了前期手术
You're pretty affected. 你真虚伪
Come, sit here with me. 来做在我这
I'm fine on the floor. 我坐在地上就好
We had a few drinks at Johann and Marianne's. 我们在约翰和玛丽安家里喝了几杯
They wanted to go out, so we went to this new Italian restaurant. 他们想出去，我们就到了那个新开的意大利餐厅
You know, near the theater. 你知道的，剧院旁边那个
There we met Melkers and his lady. 我们在那遇见了梅克斯和他夫人
They insisted on inviting us home. 他们坚持邀请我们去他们家
Do you have a cigarette? 要抽根烟吗？
Thanks. 谢谢
What's this on your neck? 你脖子上怎么了？
- Her necklace broke apart. - I see. -她的项链断了 -这样啊
I got caught in it, and it broke apart. 我抓着它，然后它断了
- Be careful it doesn't get infected. - Nonsense. -注意别被感染 -废话
Katarina wants to leave me, she says. 卡塔丽娜说要离开我
I say: Excellent, that would be such a blessing. 我说：太好了，可喜可贺
Then she says she won't get by without me. 然后她说，没有我她活不下去
Then I say I'd get by better without her than with her. 然后我说，我没她比有她会过得好
Then she says I'm impotent. 然后她说我阳痿
It all started with Peter insulting me at the restaurant. （卡）一切始于彼得在餐厅里羞辱我
Then I say I'm only impotent with her, and so on — （彼）然后我说，我只对她硬不起来，等等等等
First we laughed, because he was quite funny, （卡）一开始我们都笑了，因为他很好笑
but then he was all over me 但之后他越来越过分
and everybody was embarrassed, and I started to cry. 所有人都尴尬极了，我开始哭泣
Katarina has an intuitive feel for when to start bawling. 卡塔丽娜有种直觉，知道该在什么时候开始哭泣
- Now I'll tell you why it really started. - Ladies and gentlemen, the big aria — -现在让我告诉你到底是缘起何处 -女士们先生们，请认真聆听
Shut up, Peter. You had your scene already. 闭嘴，彼得，你已经说得够多了
When we came home this morning, Peter was horny and wanted to fuck. 我们今早到家后，彼得欲求不满，想要操我
I was tired and thought: I don't mind, as long as it's quick. 我很累了，想着，快点结束就行
But Peter had in mind a first-class spectacle. 但彼得在脑海里做了场一流的演出
I thought to myself, "You can manage," as I have in the past. 我告诉自己，“你能做到”，一如既往
Then he wanted to fuck me from behind, but he couldn't get his dick in. 然后他想从后面操我，但他鸡巴插不进来
He was probably too drunk. 他大概是喝得太多了
And then — 然后
Then I began to laugh, and he was furious 然后我开始笑，他非常生气
and started yelling at me, but I couldn't stop laughing. 开始朝我吼叫，但我笑得停不下来
I couldn't restrain myself. 我控制不住自己
I said I'd give him head because he likes that. 我说要给他口交，他喜欢口交
But he grabbed my necklace and twisted it, until I almost choked. 但他抓住我的项链并拧它，直到我快要窒息了
I can satisfy you. 我能满足你
I know the trick of how to screw Katarina Egermann. 我知道操翻卡塔丽娜的技巧
Shall I tell you how? 你想知道吗？
In the 10 years we've been living together, 我们住在一起的十年里
you gave me 832 orgasms. 你让我高潮832次
513 times I put on an act, went to the bathroom and helped myself. 其中513次我是装的，然后到浴室里自慰
On other occasions, I had a pathetic, tiny convulsion, that's true. 剩下的那些次，我确实有那么点可怜巴巴、微不足道的痉挛
I'm terribly grateful to you. 我对你的感激无以复加
Peter Egermann has made me feel like a woman. 彼得·伊格曼让我感觉自己像个女人
Damned, poor Peter, I feel sorry for you. 该死，可怜的彼得，我为你难过
I really feel sorry for you. 我真为你难过
You're now listening to the single of Katarina's perverted loyalty. 你正在听卡塔丽娜抒发她变态的忠诚
Shouldn't we entertain our friend with one of our other hits? 我们要不要说说另一件美事，让我们的朋友快乐一下？
At least your mouth is working. 至少你的口活不错
It's like he's afraid of being silent. 就像他害怕沉默一样
When you're silent, you hear the truth. 沉默时能听见真相
That is, you hear Katarina's truth. I don't have any. 我是说卡塔丽娜的真相，我可没有任何真相
Katarina has a lifelong contract with the objective, real truth of the world. 卡塔丽娜和这个世界客观、真实的真相签订了终生契约
Partly it's because she's a woman 一部分原因是她是女人
and as such is entitled to a certain blood and soil insight. 由此获得了某种血与土的洞察
Partly it's because she's Katarina, 一部分原因是她是卡塔丽娜
chosen and created by God in a lucky moment. 在一个幸运时刻被上帝选择和创造
I think I need to lay down for a while. 我想我得躺一会
When are we supposed to meet Bauer? 我们什么时候见鲍尔？
At 10:00. You can sleep for at least an hour. 十点钟，你能睡至少一小时
Take a hot shower afterwards. That will revive your spirits. 然后冲个热水澡，能让你振奋精神
- Do you want me to help you? - Thank you, very kind, Katarina. -要我帮你吗？ -谢谢，你真好，卡塔丽娜
I'll get by on my own. 我自己能行
Thanks for coming, dear Anton. 谢谢你过来，亲爱的安东
You're a true friend. 你是真正的朋友
When I see you and Katarina together, 当我看着你和卡塔丽娜在一起
I realize what a nice couple you'd make. 我意识到你们是天造地设的一对
As Christ said on the cross: 就像基督在十字架上说的：
"Mother, see your son. “母亲，看你的儿子
Son, see your mother." 儿子，看你的母亲”
I behaved like a hysterical bitch. 我像个歇斯底里的婊子一样
What are you thinking? 你在想什么？
I'm thinking that you're playing the record with the refrain: 我想你在重复那个把戏：
"It was all my fault. Forgive me, my love." “都是我的错，请你原谅我，亲爱的”
Whoever puts on that record first gets to be the best person. 谁先这么说，谁就成了好的那一方
But if I really think I behaved like a bitch, shouldn't I say so? 但如果我真的觉得我像个婊子一样，我不能说出来吗？
No. 不
- What do you want me to do then? - Nothing. -那你希望我做什么？ -什么都别做
As you wish. 如你所愿
Peter. 彼得
I don't mind you lying here, as long as you keep your mouth shut. 你可以躺在这，闭上嘴就行
- Peter! - Stop that! -彼得 -滚开
It will get you nowhere. 没用的
Can't we talk? 我们能谈谈吗？
No. 不能
Can't we even try? 至少尝试一下吧？
We've tried it hundreds of thousands of times. 我们试过成百上千次
At the next conflict, we'll use what we've said as weapons. 下次冲突时，我们就会用上所说的武器
Remember the beginning of our marriage, how we tried? 还记得刚结婚的时候吗，那时我们是怎么尝试的？
We had capital then. 那时我们有资本
Capital in love, if you will. 爱的资本，如果你愿意这么说
We've squandered it all and didn't get anything new. You know why? 我们把它浪费掉了，一无所获，你知道原因吗？
We accepted the rules of the game without any talent for playing it. 因为我们接受了游戏规则，却没有任何天赋
Then we were cheated. 然后我们作弊了
Do you know what frightens me most? 你知道什么最让我害怕吗？
When I can't go to work, 不能工作
can't read my newspaper, 不能读报纸
can't eat regularly. 不能规律饮食
Finding no sleep. 睡不着觉
Being constipated. The car breaking down. 便秘，车抛锚
Getting sick. Having a toothache. 生病，牙疼
I know that any disorder threatens my carefully thought-out security system. 我知道任何意外情况都会威胁到我妥善经营的安全系统
If it were like that, you wouldn't drink. 要是那样的话你就不会喝酒了
I drink to work up the courage to throw my system out of order. 我喝酒是为了鼓起勇气，让系统瓦解
What do you gain by doing that? 这么做你能得到什么？
I blow myself up. 让自己爆炸
And what remains? 剩下什么？
A kind of ground meat, from blood and nerves. 一些碎肉，由血和神经组成
And you think that's better? 你觉得那样会更好？
It makes me resemble more closely the reality that surrounds me. 那让我更接近我周围的现实
Three weeks after the disaster, Katarina Egermann visits Peter's mother. 惨剧发生三周后，卡塔丽娜·伊格曼拜访彼得的母亲
I sit here all alone in this big house. 我一个人坐在这幢大房子里
I don't want to see anyone. 不想见任何人
I don't even want to go out. 甚至不想外出
You should take a trip for a few months. 你该去旅行几个月
My sister called and asked me to visit her in Paris. 我妹妹打过电话，让我去巴黎找她
I really think you should go. 那你该去
Yes. 是啊
But what if Peter wants me to visit him? 但要是彼得希望我去探望他呢？
Have you seen him? 你去见过他吗？
No. 没有
I can't. Not yet. 我做不到，现在还不行
I visited him yesterday. 我昨天去看了他
Did you? 是吗？
He seems out of place there. 他看上去不属于那里
Do you think he's suffering? 你觉得他在受苦吗？
Professor Jensen says the injections keep the pain away. 延森教授说注射的药物让他免于痛苦
- He's absolutely calm. - I'd like a shot to escape this hell. -他非常震惊 -谁能朝我开一枪让我脱离苦海
It's hell. 完完全全的苦海
All day, I walk around, all alone. 每天我自己走来走去
I put on my coat to go for a walk in the park, 我穿上外套，想去公园走走
but I can't go out. 但我没法出门
I don't know what to do with myself. 我不知道该拿自己怎么办
I'm thinking about seeing a doctor, but I've only got old Jakobi. 我想去看医生，但我只认识老雅各比
He's starting to get senile. 他太老了
I can ask Professor Jensen to get in touch with you. 我可以让延森教授跟你联系
Maybe that would be good. 那挺好
I'll call him tomorrow. 我明天给他打电话
I'm so lonely, Katarina. 我好孤单，卡塔丽娜
If you like, I'll come see you every day. 你愿意的话我可以每天来看你
- You've got enough to worry about. - Everyone does. -你已经够忙了 -谁都一样
"It is her fault." That's what you think. “全都是她的错”，你是这么想的吧
You always regarded my relationship with Peter with a critical eye. 你总是对我和彼得的关系抱有怨言
You always regarded our marriage with a critical eye. 你也总是对我们的婚姻抱有怨言
But I am his mother, Katarina. 但我是他的妈妈，卡塔丽娜
I'm closer to him than anyone else. 我比任何人和他都要亲
I gave birth to him and raised him. 我生他养他
He's a part of my life. 他是我的一部分
You don't have children, Katarina. 你没有孩子，卡塔丽娜
You can't understand the feelings of a mother. 你理解不了母亲的感受
The responsibility. 母亲的责任
The guilt. 母亲的内疚
The shame. 母亲的遗憾
You're certainly right. I don't understand anything. 你说得对，我什么都不理解
Forgive me, Katarina. I didn't mean to hurt you. 原谅我，卡塔丽娜，我无意伤害你
You don't hurt me. 你没有伤害到我
I pity you. 我怜悯你
I don't think you mean what you're saying. 我想你指的不是字面意思
I've been here for half an hour. 我来了半个小时
The whole time, you've talked about your feelings. 你一直在讲你的感受
Your problems. Your guilt. Your shame. 你的问题，你的内疚，你的遗憾
Forgive me, Katarina. I thought you wanted us to talk to each other. 抱歉，卡塔丽娜，我以为你是想要和我互相交谈
I thought we could talk about our feelings, together. 我以为我们可以一起谈论我们的感受
- I don't know what I expected. - I've also thought about you, Katarina. -我不知道我想要什么 -我也想到你了，卡塔丽娜
Every hour of the day, I think about you. 每分每秒我都在想你
I'm also lonely. 我也很孤单
Yes. 嗯
I look back on our life with amazement. 我惊讶地看着我们的过往
I look back to our former reality and think we were dreaming 回首过往的现实，我们像是在做梦
or acting, or whatever we did. 或是表演，或是怎样
This is the true reality, and it's unbearable. 这就是真真切切的现实，令人难以忍受
I talk, answer, think, dress, sleep and eat. 我说话，回答，思考，打扮，睡觉，饮食
It's a daily constraint, a strange, hard surface. 这是日常的束缚，一个陌生、坚硬的表壳
But beneath that surface, I'm crying all the time. 但在此之下，我每时每刻都在哭泣
I cry for myself, 为自己而哭
because I can't be as I was before. 因为我无法重回旧日
All that was cannot come back. It's lost, it's gone. 一切都无法重拾，已然丢弃，迷失
Like a dream. 像一场梦
And I cry for Peter. 我也为彼得而哭
I could never empathize with another's feelings or thoughts. 我永远无法对别人的感受或想法共情
Suddenly, I seem to understand how Peter feels and thinks. 但突然之间，我好想明白了彼得的所感所想
I see that he's vulnerable 我看到了他的脆弱
and scared and alone, 恐惧，孑然一身
completely alone. 完完全全孑然一身
He's turned away and will never come back to us, 他转过身去，不再回来
no matter how much we call him. 无论我们如何呼喊
But the worst, 但最糟的
the most terrible thing that I can hardly talk about 遭到我几乎说不出口的
is that poor woman. 是那个可怜的女人
I tell myself that maybe she was only scared for a short moment. 我跟自己说，也许她只在很短的一瞬间感到害怕
That she didn't realize what was happening to her. 根本没意识到发生了什么
It doesn't help. 但这没有用
Doesn't help. 没有用
Fifty minutes before the disaster, 惨剧发生前十五分钟
Peter Egermann visits the prostitute Katarina Krafft. 彼得·伊格曼拜访妓女卡塔丽娜·克拉夫特
Good evening. 晚上好
Closing time! 打烊了！
That's it for today! 今天结束了！
Wrap it up! 走吧！
Closing time! 打烊了！
That's it for today! 今天结束了！
Hi. 嘿
Bye. 再见
- She's willing to stay until 6:00. - Thanks. -她愿意待到六点 -谢谢
- Strictly speaking, it's forbidden. - I know. -严格来说，这是禁止的 -我知道
- Because of the fire insurance. - Thank you very much. -出于消防安全 -非常感谢
Don't forget, you have to be gone by 6:00. 别忘了，你得在六点前离开
The police often come in the morning. 警察经常在早晨过来
The pigs, as the neighbors say. 像邻居们说的，那些猪猡
You'll get laid in here. 你可以睡在这
If the police touch you, it's called a routine check. 警察摸你的话，那叫做例行检查
Come in. I'm almost ready. 进来，我差不多好了
Would you like some wine? 要喝点葡萄酒吗？
I prefer you with makeup. 我希望你带着妆
As you wish. 好吧
- If it's not too much trouble. - No, not at all. -不会很麻烦吧 -完全不会
As long as I don't have to wear these false lashes. 只要别让我戴着假睫毛就行
Of course not. 当然不用
Bad air in here, don't you think? 这空气很差，不是吗？
It's all right. 还行
They forgot about ventilation when they converted these rooms. 他们改造这些房间时忘了装通气设备了
We don't have windows either. 也没有窗户
To let some air in, we have to open the door to the basement. 为了空气流通，我们得打开地下室入口的门
Which isn't good either, because it attracts strange visitors. 这也不是什么好办法，会招来陌生客人
Don't you want to take off your coat? 你不把外套脱了吗？
Excuse me, I forgot my newspaper. 抱歉，我把报纸落下了
I bought it this morning, and it's already so late. 我是今早买的，现在已经够晚了
- Don't forget: 6:00! - Okay. -别忘了，六点钟 -知道
Did you like my number? 你喜欢我的表演吗？
Not particularly. 一般吧
- Have you been working here long? - Three years. -你在这工作多久了？ -三年
I came here when it was still brand-new. 这刚开业我就来了
- Is it worth it? - I can't complain. -值吗？ -我不能抱怨什么
Is there more wine? 还有酒吗？
The bottle is on the shelf, next to the fridge. 架子上，冰箱旁边
You're kind of odd. 你有点奇怪
Something about you is odd. 你有些奇怪之处
Did you do something bad? 你做了什么坏事吗？
I don't think so. 我想没有
One of the girls wanted to stay here and keep an eye on things. 有个女孩想留在这照看着
Maybe it was stupid of me to send her away. 看来我不该让她回去
Don't worry. 别担心
But there is something. 但有值得担心的
Yes, there is something. 是的，有值得担心的
Are you scared somehow? 你在害怕什么吗？
You're a good judge of character. 你有一双慧眼
Now you're being ironic. 你开始讽刺了
I'm always ironic. 我总是在讽刺
It's a sort of disability. 这是一种无能
Rubbish. 垃圾
Listen. It's pretty uncomfortable in here. 听者，在这挺难受的
Don't you think so? We could go into one of the other rooms. 你不觉得吗？我们可以去另一个房间
All right. 好吧
Come in. 进来
Is this your room? 这是你的房间？
I receive my customers here. 我在这接客
It's terribly warm. Can't we open a window? 好热，开个窗好吗？
There are no windows. 没有窗户
- I can't stand it in here. - All right. We'll go to the stage. -我受不了待在这 -好吧，那去舞台吧
There's more room. And it's really quite nice there. 那儿空间很大，非常不错
Come on. 快来
- What's your name? - Ka. -你叫什么名字？ -小卡
But my real name is Katarina. 真名叫卡塔丽娜
You've got the same name as my wife. 你和我妻子名字一样
Well, that's funny. 是吗，有趣
Do you want to tell me something? 你有话要跟我说吗？
You got me wrong earlier on. 你先前错怪我了
I only found your number stupid and boring. 我只是觉得你的表演愚蠢、无聊
As for you, I find you attractive. 但是你非常有魅力
Attractive! 魅力
Sit down on that chair. I want to look at you. 坐在那个椅子上，我想看看你
Like this? 像这样？
It's better if you stand up. 还是站起来好些
Better now? 好点了吗？
Look at me. 看着我
Well? 这样？
Don't other men ask you for much more unpleasant things? 难道别人没让你做过更不愉快的事吗？
This is worse. 这是最不愉快的
All paths are barred. 所有路都堵死了
Do you want to go? 你想要走？
All paths are barred. 所有路都堵死了
Why are you saying such strange things? 你为什么说这么奇怪的话？
Come! 来吧
I told you that we have to keep all the doors locked. 我跟你说过我们得让门都锁上
You'll have to stay. 你只能留下了
Do you want me to make you some coffee? 要我给你倒点咖啡吗？
The light is too bright. Can't we turn it off? 灯太亮了，不能关上吗？
We've already complained. But no one listens to us. 我们投诉过，没人搭理
- What's this smell? - Does it smell? -这是什么味道？ -有什么味道吗？
Yes, it smells like something. 闻起来像别的东西
Here, it always smells like something. Dust, sweat, perfume, cigarettes. 这儿的咖啡总是闻起来像别的东西，灰尘，汗液，香水，香烟
And when the john is clogged, it smells like shit. 马桶堵住时就闻起来像屎
Does it smell like something else? 闻起来像其他什么东西吗？
I don't know, maybe it's just my imagination. 不知道，可能只是我的想象
I think I've lost my sense of smell. 我觉得我失去嗅觉了
I don't sense anything. 我什么感觉都没有了
When I was a child, my mother used to take me to her parents' in Denmark. 小时候我妈妈曾带我去她爸妈在丹麦的家
I still remember how the seasons smelled there. 我至今还记得那里的四季的气味
The seasons? 四季？
Yes. 是的
Winter — 冬季呢
Winter smelled like snow, coal furnaces and wet gloves. 冬季闻起来像雪、煤炉和湿手套
And summer smelled like seaweed and anthills. 夏季则像海草和蚁丘
Spring smelled like meltwater and deeply dug trenches, 春季闻起来像融冰、深渠
freshly sprung catkins and rain. 初现的柳絮和雨水
But fall was the most beautiful. 但秋天是最美妙的
I'm not sleeping. 我没在睡
Can't you just take off that stupid coat? 你就不能脱下这个傻兮兮的外套吗？
It's quite warm in here, isn't it? 这很暖和，不是吗？
It is. 是的
I'm tired. 我累了
After four weeks, late at night, 四周后，深夜
Mogens Jensen, professor of psychiatry, dictates a preliminary summary. 精神病学教授莫根斯·延森口述初步总结
As for our patient, a dominant mother 对病人来说，一个控制型的母亲
and poor contact with the father resulted in latent homosexuality 以及与父亲缺少接触导致了随后的同性倾向
that Peter Egermann himself was hardly aware of, 彼得·伊格曼本人对此几乎没有察觉
but which of course interfered with his relationship to his wife 而这势必会影响他与妻子
and other women. 及其他女人的关系
This fact 这个事实
and an aggressiveness towards his dominant mother, transformed into fear, 以及转化成了恐惧的他对控制型母亲的攻击性
didn't find a natural outlet in Peter Egermann's social environment, 在彼得·伊格曼的社交环境中找不到出路
where every kind of emotional outburst 在那里，任何的情绪爆发
is considered almost obscene. 都被认为是可憎的
For that reason, early on, the patient became estranged from his emotional life. 因此，患者很早就与自己的情感生活割裂
Instead of being himself, he adopted attitudes 他不做自己，而是接受了……
and played the role that education and environment had assigned to him. 教育和环境赋予的态度和角色
Excuse me, Professor. I didn't know you were still here. 抱歉，教授，我没想到你还在这
I'm just returning some case histories. 我只是来还一些个案资料
I need a few more minutes. Good night. 我还需要一点时间，晚安
Sure. 晚安
A strongly developed sense of duty 幼年起形成的……
in connection with self-discipline, practiced from childhood on, 关于自律的高度责任感
and considerable social success 以及可观的社会成就
prevented the patient from naturally acting out his emotions in any way. 使得患者无法以任何方式自然地表露出情绪
Obviously, he was also very attached to his wife, who, like his mother, 显然，他非常依恋于他的妻子，而如他妈妈一样
has a possessive and strong-willed personality. 她有着占有欲强、强势的人格
The inexplicable fear and the fear of that fear 他难以解释的恐惧，以及对那种恐惧的恐惧
were ritualized into a closed social model 被仪式化为一种封闭的社会模式
where a certain consumption of narcotics and alcohol 在这种模式下，使用麻醉药和酒精
is not only an accepted, but recommended emergency exit. 不仅是现存的、更是有效的的紧急出口
I dare say that nothing would have happened 我敢说如果彼得·伊格曼仍留在他的日常环境里……
if Peter Egermann had stayed in his milieu. 便什么都不会发生
The disaster starts the moment he comes into contact with the prostitute. 惨剧是从他与妓女接触的那一刻开始的
Suddenly, everything is possible. 突然之间一切皆有可能
The triggering impulse might have been something trivial, 诱因可能是些微不足道的东西
a word, a gesture, a tone of voice. 一个词语，一个手势，或一个声音
The girl is murdered in a moment of emotional blackout. 女孩死于彼得·伊格曼短暂的情绪混乱
And in a presumably ecstatic moment, 而在欣喜若狂中
Peter Egermann performs sexual intercourse with the dead woman. 他与死去的女孩性交
His emotions break free like an avalanche. 他的情绪如雪崩般崩塌
Only someone you've killed can be possessed, 只有亲手杀死的人才能占有
or rather controlled fully. 或完全控制
The patient has broken through all social and emotional barriers 病人突破了所有社交与情感的边界
and is therefore at risk of suicide 并因此有自杀风险
according to the same norm I have just formulated. 原因同前
Only someone who kills himself possesses himself completely. 只有杀死自己，才能完全占有自己
Epilogue 尾声
Directly after getting up 起了床
after having breakfast and making the bed — 吃过早饭、铺好床后
he rises earlier than anyone else — （他比别人起得都早）
he sits down at his chess game. 他马上坐到棋盘前
He sets the computer on a high difficulty level 他把计算机设为高难度
and sometimes the match takes several days. 有时一盘棋局要花上好几天
Towards the staff, he is very polite, 他对工作人员很有礼貌
but also very distant. 但也很冷淡
He takes great care with his personal hygiene 他个人卫生保持得很好
and cleans his room at least once a day. 至少每天打扫一次房间
He's particularly meticulous with his bedspread. 他在铺床时尤为一丝不苟
It takes him a quarter-hour to get it as even and tidy as he wants it to be. 常花上一刻钟，让床单尽可能地平坦整洁
He doesn't read any books or newspapers. 他从不读书或读报
He doesn't listen to the radio and doesn't watch television. 也不听收音机或看电影
From time to time, he suffers from severe anxiety 他时常遭受严重的焦虑
but refuses any help 但他从不求助
and rejects our efforts to get in touch with him. 也拒绝我们触碰他
At night, he has a worn-out, old teddy bear next to him. 夜里，他床上放着一个破旧的泰迪熊
Probably a childhood memory. 大概代表一段童年回忆
FROM THE LIFE OF THE MARIONETTES 傀儡生涯（英格玛·伯格曼）
中字：豆瓣@MacY